Sometimes it’s easy to stay in touch with your friends who don’t have kids; other times, not so much. It reminds me of when my friends all went away for college and I stayed behind for a year to earn my core credits at the local community college. They came back with this big thing in common — living in another part of the world — and I couldn’t share in that. Once I did go away for school, it was easier to relate with them again.
But I don’t expect that all my friends are going to have kids. Now that we’re in our thirties, I can see that it’s just not in the cards for many of them. They have great jobs, many of them have awesome relationships, but kids? It’s just not their thing. I totally get it, and I respect them for making the decision even though there’s still so much societal pressure to do it. Which is weird, if you think about our overpopulation problem, but I digress.
Here are some ways you can keep in touch with your friends without kids:
Be the first to call. You might think that you’re being snubbed by your friends without kids, but it’s more than likely that they’re just trying to give you space. My good friend Michael told me that he knew my schedule was stricter than his, so he figured he’d wait until I called on him. Which is a good point! Call when you can. Even email is better than nothing.
Do a throwback outing. I’m not saying you should hit the bar scene, but think back to the things you used to enjoy doing before your schedule was all about nap times. Did you and your girlfriends get manicures together? Would you go bowling? Out for brunch? I’ve found that going back to old routines with friends not only helps everyone to remember that you’re the same person, but it can also encourage you to remember the things you used to talk about (ie: not just your kid).
Listen, listen, listen. It’s surprising, but after awhile people get tired of our stories about diaper changes! I found that I got so used to people asking about how I felt, or about the baby, that I forgot to ask questions about how their lives were going. People love to talk about themselves. So ask questions!
How do you keep friends without kids involved in your life?